How cool: my post from a few weeks ago is a feature on the awesome website, Youshare. The piece is “The Touchy Subject of Intimacy” and it seems to resonate with a lot of people. That’s really encouraging because intimacy or sex is a sensitive subject and I felt really nervous about sharing such, um, intimate, details with casual acquaintances, friends, family, and complete strangers. Maybe that’s why it’s been so well-received: we don’t tend to talk about these kinds of things but we want to know how to deal with them.
I know I have the tendency to suffer silently, believing I’m the only one who has problem xx or challenge ky. Everyone else is grooving along, joyfully dealing with their symptoms while maintaining stellar smoochy relationships with people who understand them and completely support them, while I suffer from lack of the tools or the personalities they have to “make it work” (nod to Tim Gunn for his signature advice). From where this idea came, I don’t know. Some programs call it terminal uniqueness: the idea that we are so special or so weird or so different from everyone else that the rules don’t apply to us, the solutions won’t work for us, reaching out for help won’t make a difference because people can’t possibly understand us, special, different, wallow, wallow, wallow.
I’ve finally realized that talking and sharing are the only ways problems get resolved, especially if the problem involves me and someone else. I try not to wallow and I definitely try to find the positive in every experience, even the bloody, painful ones. It’s a heck of a lot better way to live than to live with perpetual self-pity.
Maybe you have a story that could help others. If so, tell it on Youshare. It’s a great place to be yourself.